Repentance: A Gift of Grace

What is your response when you see a lack of repentance in others?

This is an important question to wrestle with when trying to understand repentance. Believe it or not, how you answer this question says a great deal about your own repentance. 

To start out, it might be helpful to think through and bring some clarity to this idea of repentance. The most common Greek word translated as “repentance” in the New Testament is the word “metanoia,” which literally means, “to change one’s mind or purpose.” Therefore, to repent as a Christian means to change one’s mind and realign it with the mind and purposes of God. 

For many, repentance is one of those churchy words that can carry a lot of baggage. For some, especially those who come from a religious background, repentance has been misused as a way to guilt and control them into following “the rules.” For this reason, it’s helpful to separate repentance into two categories, there is religious repentance and there is Gospel repentance.

Religious Repentance:

Religious repentance teaches, “Repent or God is going to punish you.” Religious repentance is really just a way to try and get what you want from God. It causes you to try to earn a right standing with God based on your repentance. Just like any good thing, if we allow repentance to be misused and hijacked by religion, we miss out on the joy and freedom that is truly meant to come from it. 

The reality is, there is a little bit of religion in all of us. We all have a moral standard that we hold ourselves and those around us to. Religion causes us to use that standard as a way to look down on others and at the same time lift ourselves up. If I think I’m better at making the standard or following the rules, I feel better about myself. Religion does the same thing with repentance. We can often play the comparison game in the process of repenting. Pastor Tim Keller says it this way, “Even our repentance needs to be repented of. Our heart motivations are never pure.” The truth is, we all need to monitor our hearts in the area of repentance.

Gospel Repentance:

Gospel repentance is not concerned with comparison. This is because in light of the Gospel, repentance is not something we can take pride in. It is something that should actually humble us. In light of the Gospel, even my repentance is a gift of grace. The fact that God has revealed Himself to us through the life and death of His son Jesus Christ is a gift we don’t deserve. The fact that God has given us a way to change our mind and turn towards him, is something we don’t deserve. 

When I think about the truth of the Gospel, I’m not just thankful for the sins I have been forgiven of but I am thankful for the sins I will never commit. I recognize there are sins I have avoided committing because of the repentance God has allowed to take place in my life. The truth is, my capacity for sin far outweighs the sins I have actually committed. Any time my heart is pulled towards religious repentance I am reminded that, even my repentance is a gift of grace.

In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he tells us that it is God’s kindness that draws us to repentance. 

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” Romans‬ ‭2:4‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Our motivation for repentance is found in the kindness of God. It’s God’s love and kindness that motivates us to change our minds and realign them with His mind and purposes. Notice how it doesn’t say that repentance leads to his kindness. It is his kindness that leads us to repentance. Repentance doesn’t lead to His grace, His grace leads to repentance. Repentance doesn’t lead to His love, His love leads to repentance. 

True repentance in all of us, comes as a response to grace. It comes as a response to a heart that has been changed by the truth of the Gospel. The thing that separates Gospel repentance form religious repentance is that, God doesn’t forgive us based on the perfection of our repentance, but on the basis of his perfect sacrifice.

At this point, this might lead you to ask the practical question,

How do we know if we have shifted from Gospel repentance to religious repentance?

One of the greatest indicators of us shifting from Gospel repentance to religious repentance is our response to a lack of repentance in others. If the Gospel is true, I have no right to look down on someone else for a lack of repentance because again, my repentance is a gift of grace. When we condemn or compare our righteousness to the righteousness of those around us, it is a clear indicator that we have shifted to religious repentance. A lack of repentance in others should never bother us more than a lack of repentance in ourselves. When it does, we know that we have shifted into religious repentance. 

Whenever we find ourselves crossing the line into religious repentance, it’s helpful for us to understand why. It’s usually for one or more of the following reasons,

First, we want a way to justify ourselves. And this is truly at the root of why we look down on others for their lack of repentance. There is something inside of us that wants to be justified. 

Second, we have unresolved hurt. Maybe it’s hurt caused by that person or hurt we haven’t fully dealt with from our past. Pain that we haven’t dealt with from our past can keep us from the process of forgiveness. 

Third, we have lost sight of the Gospel. The Gospel shows us that we have been saved by grace through faith. Grace causes us to see ourselves as we truly are and to see God as He truly is. We are sinners that get what Jesus deserves because He was willing to take what we deserved. 

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

In all three cases mentioned above, preaching ourselves the Gospel is the answer. One of the ways I preach the Gospel to myself when I notice that I am not in a healthy place is by simply reminding myself that, “Even my repentance is a gift of grace.”

What should our response be to a lack of repentance in others?

Our response to a lack of repentance in others should be the same as the response to our lack of repentance from our Heavenly Father. Patience and kindness. Grace and truth. Acceptance, not approval. 

With the Gospel as the backdrop, we should long and pray for the same change in others that we have seen in ourselves.

Whenever your response to a lack of repentance in others is pride or condemnation, here are three great questions to ask:

1. What am I trying to justify in myself? 
2. What hurt am I trying to cover up?
3. How can I preach myself the Gospel?

What I hope you walk away with is this, next time you see a lack of repentance in others I want to encourage you to repeat this phrase to yourself, “Even my repentance is a gift of grace.” Next time the thought creeps in, “I would never do that,” remember, “Even my repentance is a gift of grace.” 

As always, I hope you found this helpful and hopeful.